I’ve been working from home since March, with very little human interaction outside my immediate household, and while I’ve made an effort to stay connected with family and friends, I’ve definitely fallen into a funk more than once lately, which makes it difficult to reach out sometimes. Nevertheless, I still feel an immense amount of gratitude for all things big and small, so if there’s something to be said about this year, it’s helped put some things into perspective for me and made it easier to focus more on what’s really important.

I always tend to reflect a little more than usual around my birthday, and since my birthday was a couple weeks ago and I have more time on my hands than usual, this year was certainly no exception. There are a few things I’ve realized during this most recent period of reflection, but one of the biggest realizations that I’ve come to is that I need to focus on being more present.

Being Mindful and Managing Time Better

I’ve noticed that even though I have more time on my hands these days, I don’t always make the most of that extra time. I used to feel guilty if I had a weekend or day off that wasn’t “productive,” but now I’ve become more comfortable with having down time and days where I don’t do much at all. But there’s a thin line between giving myself time to do nothing and just being lazy/avoiding the things I know I need to get done, so I’m constantly trying to find that balance. What I want to work on is taking breaks from social media/technology because I’ve become more aware of how much time I spend aimlessly scrolling through Instagram or Twitter, often for much longer than I intended. When I realize how much time has passed, I usually feel a little guilty and a bit frustrated with myself. It’s a bad habit I’m trying my best to break.

Generally speaking, I’m also trying not to spend too much time thinking about the past and the future. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to consider both, but the key is to not be so consumed with either one that you miss out on what’s going on right now. The idea of practicing mindfulness has come up a lot for me in the past couple years or so; it’s a practice that encourages you to be fully engaged in the current moment, focusing on the here and now. It sounds simple, but it can be hard to de-clutter your mind and be fully present: it takes effort.

How I’m Working on Being More Mindful

There are several ways to practice mindfulness; I’m not going to dive into all of them, but I definitely recommend looking into the practice if you’re not already familiar! Guided journaling has helped me be more mindful lately. This book (pictured below), titled The Book That Takes Its Time: An Unhurried Adventure in Creative Mindfulness, was a gift from my friend V and I really love the variety of sections which include articles, poems, writing activities, and little craft projects. As you can probably tell from the title, this book encourages you to take your time getting through it, and really engage with the words and activities. I think we all need a reminder to slow down from time to time.

Another book that I’ve found to be really helpful is Self-Care Check-In: A Guided Journal to Build Healthy Habits and Devote Time to You by GG Renee Hill. This journal features prompts that are structured into three parts: Reflect, Focus, and Do. You can order this book here. GG’s work has been a tremendous help to my writing practice over the years, and this journal is no exception. I have a couple other guided journals that I use from time to time, but these two are my favorites. The activities in these journals help me block out distractions and focus on whatever I’m reading or writing in those pages, even if it’s just for ten to fifteen minutes at a time, which then helps me gain a little more clarity, reflect, be grateful, and be more present.

Other Ways I’m Trying to Be More Present

Earlier, I mentioned how often I find myself aimlessly scrolling through my phone, and I have to say, it’s a hard habit to break. I find myself doing it even when I’m doing something that has my attention, like writing or watching something on TV. I’m working on doing less of this, even if it means periodically keeping my phone out of arm’s reach. I figure if I can help break this habit while I’m at home, it’ll be even easier to do it when I’m out and about. Being isolated at home has only exacerbated my desire to escape reality a little bit, but I don’t want it to get in the way of noticing and appreciating the day to day happenings, even if they don’t always seem that exciting.

Taking It All In

This past weekend, my partner and I spent the weekend in Connecticut. We had a really nice day at the beach in West Haven. The weather was perfect: in the 70s, very little humidity, breezy, not too warm, not too chilly, a little overcast but still bright. We spent hours walking around, sitting down taking in the views – just enjoying being outside and away from it all. One of the most memorable moments was watching seagulls pull clams out of the sand, then hover over the pier and drop them to break the shells open. It’s probably something they do all the time, but it was so fascinating to watch.

While we were at the beach, I took some pictures and a couple of videos, but other than that, I didn’t touch my phone much at all. I didn’t want to waste time staring at a screen while I could be taking in the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings of being by the water. I felt so at peace: more than I’ve felt in a while. But I don’t want a trip to the beach to be the only time that happens, so I’m working on being more present daily, even when the day seems ordinary. Life in these times is a lot less exciting and a lot heavier than usual, and it’s natural to feel anxious and disconnected, so it’s especially important to be as present as possible and try to stay centered.

What’s Next?

After the deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, (and all the other victims this year who didn’t receive as much media attention), I think I started writing about three different blog posts talking about the national response to these events and this country’s long history of systemic racism, but it’s such an exhausting topic, I honestly couldn’t muster up enough energy to finish them. Unfortunately, it’s such an evergreen topic, I could finish and post it at any time, and it would still be relevant. However, I am planning to finish up a post soon about my favorite Black-owned natural hair and beauty products for the “Big Hair” portion of the blog: because it’s always a good time to support Black-owned businesses.

How have you been coping during this pandemic? Feel free to connect and share.

Thanks for reading 💚