When it comes to natural hair care, there is a ton of information on the internet. Whether it comes from bloggers, professional hair stylists, or hair care product companies, there’s a wealth of knowledge out there. This hasn’t always been the case. Up until fairly recently, if you had naturally kinky-curly hair, the most commonly available maintenance solutions involved keeping your hair straightened – either with heat or with a chemical relaxer.

But since the start of the most recent “natural hair revolution,” it’s much more common to find products and salons that cater to women who wear their hair in its natural state. However, this influx of product lines, techniques, and tips can lead to information overload. It’s very easy to be overwhelmed and/or confused by all the information and advice out there, mostly because much of it is conflicting. Just ask any group of naturals how they feel about co-washing. Some will tell you that co-washing is the way and the truth and the life, testifying that they haven’t touched a bottle of shampoo in years. Others are put off by the idea, convinced that your hair simply cannot be cleansed without shampoo (sulfate-free or otherwise).

Regardless of how you feel about co-washing, apple cider vinegar rinses, the inversion method, or any other well-debated technique out there, below are 5 habits that will without a doubt lead to disappointment and frustration, and some steps you can take to reverse those habits:

 

1. Not Taking the Time to Learn About Your Hair

I touched on this is an older post, which you can read here, but I can’t stress it enough: everyone’s head of hair is unique, so it’s important to really get to know your natural hair. There’s nothing wrong with getting product recommendations from friends or bloggers/vloggers, but keep in mind that you might not get the exact same results, and that’s okay. Experimenting is important. Keep track of products and ingredients that you use and how your hair responds to them. If you’ve been using coconut oil for 2 months and your hair just isn’t responding well to it – stop using it. Don’t feel pressured into using products that don’t work for you just because they’re popular. Read labels – know what’s in your products. If a product doesn’t work for you, try to avoid other products with similar formulas. There are always exceptions, but more likely than not, products with similar ingredients will give you similar results.

 

2. Obsessively Length-Checking Your Hair

I get it. We’re all anxious to see results and it’s exciting to track progress and growth. There’s nothing wrong with an occasional length check, but if you’re doing it every week, you’re likely not going to see a lot of progress. Remember: a watched pot never boils. Hair growth varies from person to person, the average being about half an inch per month: the keyword being average. Some people’s hair grows a little faster, others a little slower. But trust and believe, unless you have certain medical conditions, your hair is growing. So try to be patient. Easier said than done, I know, but patience is vital.

If it’s been 6 months and you haven’t noticed any growth, it’s more likely that your hair is breaking off at the same rate (or faster than) it’s growing. Length retention is actually a bigger challenge than hair growth, so if you are having trouble retaining length, look into methods like protective styling to help safeguard your strands, especially those ends.

 

 

3. Comparing Your Growth to Someone Else’s

This is a cardinal sin when it comes to our natural hair care journeys – or any journey when you really think about it. Yet, it’s a trap that’s ridiculously easy to fall into. In the age of social media, it’s especially hard. I follow a lot of natural hair pages on Instagram, many of which repost and feature their followers’ pictures. I can’t tell you how often I read comments under progress photos from users either lamenting about their own progress, asking for “the secret” to the person’s hair growth, or flat out accusing the person in the photo of lying. Everyone has their own idea of what is “realistic,” and when they see something that’s outside of their realm of possibility, they have a hard time believing it. I get it. But you’re not helping yourself by getting frustrated about how much faster someone else’s hair grows (or accusing them of lying).

Focus that energy on taking care of your hair and appreciating it no matter what stage it’s in. When my hair was shorter, I couldn’t wait until it was longer, so I could rock certain styles. But now that it is longer, I miss the styles I used to rock when my hair was shorter. There are also some styles I still wear, even though I kind of preferred how they looked (or how much easier they were) when my hair was shorter. So try to appreciate the stage you’re in and find styles that look great on your hair at its current length, instead of just fantasizing about how you’re going to wear your hair when it finally reaches that ideal length – whatever that may be for you.

 

4. Not Taking Care of Your Hair

This seems obvious, but you’d be surprised at how many of us want waist-length hair with TWA maintenance. As your hair grows longer, you may find that maintaining it takes a little more time and effort. This isn’t always the case, but it’s likely. Personally, now that my hair is longer, detangling does take a bit longer than it used to. But my twist outs take less time than they used to because my hair is long enough to put into bigger twists now, meaning I can do 8 twists instead of 16. It’s all about balance. I know a lot of people think that natural hair is a lot of work, but I’m not one of those people. Yes, it takes work, but it doesn’t have to take a lot of work.

Everyone’s routine is going to be different. The further along I’ve gotten in my journey, the more I’ve tweaked my routine, and I’m now able to eliminate certain steps, making my routines shorter. The moral of the story is, you really have to find what works for you. Just please, please, please don’t rip through your hair with a comb and then complain about breakage. There is an easier way. Be patient with your hair. Be kind to your hair. Which leads me to number 5…

 

 

5. Not Allowing Yourself to Love Your Own Unique Texture

This probably encompasses everything I’ve mentioned so far. The natural hair journey is called a journey for a reason. For most people, everything will not come overnight: love, acceptance, understanding. This is okay. As long as you are actively working on it, you will get there eventually. It’s important to speak positively about your hair. I know for myself and many other Black women out there, from the time we were young children, we dreaded hearing the other N-word: nappy. We learn at a young age, what’s considered to be “good hair” and what’s considered to be “bad hair,” and we grow up with those ideas constantly in the back of our minds.

Times are changing, but it’s still a hard concept for many of us to shake. That’s why taking good care of our hair and rocking it proudly even on days we don’t feel the most confident is so important. Adjust your mindset and realize that there is no single curl pattern or texture that’s more beautiful than all others. Good hair is hair that is well taken care of.

The last thing you want to do it speak poorly about your own hair (remember, your words have power). If you can’t accept it as being beautiful, how will you expect anyone else to? So be proud of your hair, and surround yourself with positive words – from yourself first, and from others. Personally, embracing my hair has been so liberating. I did not expect to feel so free and so confident. I didn’t get there overnight, but I did make a conscious decision to love my hair no matter what. That’s the first step.

 

So, while these are habits you should avoid when it comes to embracing your natural hair, most of them are also applicable to other areas of life, particularly number three: comparing your growth to someone else’s. Everyone’s journey is different, and we all face different obstacles, so try as hard as you can to avoid comparing yours to anybody’s else’s. Life is not a race to see who gets there first. Self-awareness is the first step to breaking these bad habits.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do any other bad habits come to mind? How were you able to overcome them?

 

IMAGES CO: CREATEHER STOCK